Chaotic in all circumstances

The last week I have been focused on Philippians. To me it is a book about unity and care, the workplace needs both of those. The passage I've come back to personally is the statement, "Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, i have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me." The last part of that was sent to me on an encouragement card as I kid, I thought it was that anything I wanted God could give me.

These day that is not my take, really it hasn't been for awhile. The catch is practically, day-in-and-day-out I have no idea how Paul did it. Content in all circumstances, I tend to be chaotic in all circumstances. On both sides of the poverty line there is an wild nature to my life, and I'm longing for that peace that Paul is talking about.

The cynical side of me says Paul is the ultimate fundraiser and is just letting his supporters know he is okay, but I don't know that works with the previous verses written. He has a connection, he was a small business owner, missionary, fundraiser, etc. I don't know that he ever had a desire to own a house (or if he did own one), he didn't raise a family, no 401K, falling stock market, or many of the concerns that mess with us now. The challenge for me is not to 'remove' all these things in my life, that is not a option for me, but rather find a way (the connect Paul had) to be content in them.

Perhaps some of this is just having an 16 month old around that makes everything seem chaotic. Work is what is it, church life is what it is, but I do have a longing for more peace at home. Maybe two or three years, haha? I'm focusing on this at the moment, seeking and asking that God would show up in it.