Proverbs 10:6-11

6 Blessings are on the head of the righteous, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.
7 The memory of the righteous is a blessing, but the name of the wicked will rot.
8 The wise of heart will receive commandments, but a babbling fool will come to ruin.
9 Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out.
10 Whoever winks the eye causes trouble, but a babbling fool will come to ruin.
11 The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.

Verses 6, 7, 11 give us some good news for the righteous which is then clearly set against the wicked. A blessing upon your head if younger righteous. This is kingly imagery, for your head is where your crown is placed. You will be honored, or seen as royal. Also there is another beautiful blessing upon the head and that is oil. Oil provides fragrant smell, cleanliness, and even healing for your scalp and skin. These publicly visible blessings are in contrast to the mouth of the wicked which is concealing violence. Hidden and dark.

Also the righteous are thought about favorably. The older I get the more I think about hiw I will be remembered, by my children, family, friends, and others I have known. Could it be that the memory will be a blessing? Can I live In such a way tomorrow that will leave others with a memory of blessing. Wow, through our mouths this can pour out like a fountain. I picture a vast fountain of wine for many compared to a garbage heap that is filled with rot from the wicked.

Babbling and secretive the wicked contribute to their own ruin. They are playing games in secret and trying to be smooth. I love to wink at my daughters in affectionate love, but this is a picture of a cheater at the card table signaling to his partner. Receive God's commandments, walk with integrity. These will bring about security.

This morning I was wonderfully reminded where my security is supposed to come from, when It comes from anywhere other then God, I will live as a violent insecure self protective man. When my security is based upon the promise of the Gospel, that God loves me and has given himself for me and all his gifts are mine, then I can be gentle and secure. The Proverbs push us to a love of God's law which is only attainable with the understand from Jesus of God grace. Yes I see my failure constantly in the law, but I know it is good, and I also know that God is making me more and more in it's image I am his failful one. How deep is the broken that is constantly present in my life and yet how much geater is the love of God who has rescued me not leaving me to rot!

Where I'm going, not where I want to be, but further along than I was

The start of school when you have kids and the beginning of a new year bring about reflection, at least for me. Or perhaps I am more of navel gazer than I think of myself. Regardless my recent thoughts have brought me to a place where I have more peace than I have in quite awhile.

Seattle is a very special place and God has put in at the center of our family in a very special way. There was no place in the world where we could have gone and had such an easy transition after Oakland. Simply having the initial gift of free rent from my father-in-law relieved so much pressure and allowed me to look for a job without going deep into debt. Also the support structure of wise friends who have walked with us for years was priceless, and then we were also surprised by the new friends God brought into our life during that time who have been an amazing blessing. There are plenty of questions about the future but where we are meant to be is not one of them. I won't be surprised if there are pressures that work on moving us in the near future but the only pressure I'm concern about is that of God's.

Stewardship. When I graduated from college the last thing I cared about was making money. I wanted to creating something cool and care for people. That was carried on throughout graduate school, when after making decent money in my first job I easily walked away to pursue full time ministry. Then there was Oakland, which looked more like survival financially for Karin and me. The stress of graduate school and working for a church startup put us in very bad position in regards to our finances and stewardship. This was not a faithful time in my life as I reflect upon it. While some of the circumstances were out of my control, having been through it wisdom would not allow me to do it again. For those who supported me I was not "unfaithful" with that money, it had more to do with places I would take money from and what I was leveraging in order to just make ends meet. Thankfully God has given me a very gracious family who also seem to have a short term memory:) Now God has placed me in a great position to be a good steward. I pray often to God saying, "All this ambition you have given me in my work, may you bless so I can be just as ambitious with my generosity." Just this week I had lunch with the pastor at Grace and we were dreaming about what God would do in Seattle, and how if He chose to use us.

As I write this my girls are playing Wii in the room next to me. I can't help but think about how much I enjoy being a father. There is so much joy that comes from seeing them grow, learn, and become the women God has intended them to be. During graduate school both Karin and mine we juggled a very crazy schedule which meant I had significant amount of time with our first daughter during the first four years of her life. I feared that I would not have the same connection with number two, that was a completely unfounded fear. Sure I wish I had more time with our two year old, but both my daughters bring me so much joy and they are the thing I take the most godly pride of in my life.

Then there is my marriage, which I mess up all the time in. Though I am listening better. Karin is not merely one of my advisers but rather the partnership God has given me in this life. She knows me better and loves me more than anyone in this world and her words deserve that kind of respect and honor. Now if I didn't get grumpy, sensitive, and bent out of shape so often I am sure that I would do a much better job of honor that voice in my life. For years though I didn't even know the place that she was to have in my life. I'm also learning to speak and encourage when she needs me. Her drive and capability often lead me to give her space because I deeply know that she can do it, but I'm learning she still needs to hear my encouragement. That is crazy and sweet.

My writing has had to take a the back burner:( I still cannot believe that I had time to blog thru the Psalms, and even start the Proverbs. As I hear from other friends at my stage of life, so who are even writers, I find they have a similar struggle. That actually encourages me. There is only so much time and if my kids are civil and I like my wife that says tons.

News has similar problem as church

Read the news headlines about what is happening and while wild and worrisome it is not that interesting to me.  What is interesting is the story behind the story.  For instance all the economic and government drama doesn't really add up to a hill of beans for me until today when five people from my company get laid off.  How this will impact their family, partners, and life is captivating to me, yet that is the story behind the story.  Ed Burns captures this well.

Last Sunday something inspired me during the service that was enough for me to think, "We should end church here because what just happen was amazing."  The headline would read, Volunteer Reader doesn't show.  But the story that God wrote behind that amazed me.

First there was a long awkward silence, that seem to last as long as a woman in labor to me and I would think everyone else that is even partially engaged in the service.  It took either the pastor complete and utter disconnection to what was happening (which I doubt) or leaders who were comfortable enough with letting it sit.  They are fully capable of stepping in and reading scripture and yet it is not their duty in that moment so an able minded/bodied person would need to step up.

The person who ended stepping up was the Children's Minister.  Her entire life, and that of her husband, is spent filling in gaps and serving people who may never even know who they are.  They are a beautiful picture of the people who make church happen, and get very little in return.  On a side not it was also a great opportunity for me to see her great new hair cut, but it was clear that her stepping into the moment was completely about serving.

What brought tears to my eyes and a chill to my back was when she began to read and it was Phil 4, Have in you the same mind as Christ...A passage completely about selflessness and caring for others.  I could not think of a more incarnate picture than this young lady and then reading this passage in that particular circumstance.

Just as you thought God was going to return on the cloud or had because it was such a transcendent heavenly moment, as she finished reading she gracefully slipped as she walked down the steps, not a full on fall, just a trip.  Enough of a bump to remind you that the entire moment was real, and sometime real is beautiful and sometimes it is embarrassing.

In all of that I was grateful to have been around enough to know the story behind the story, and I felt sad for people who it was their first Sunday at our church.  They missed God showing up, and how hard is it to figure out if you belong in a place or understand it's true meaning and nature when you only see the headline story.  What really matters is the story behind the story.

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