Proverbs 10:1-3

1 The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother.

Families are connected. Even when I was younger I could tell that my actions as a son had deep effects upon my parents. Now that I am a parent I see the hopes I have for my kids and how their good and bad decisions effect me.

Proverbs was written to young business men, used to help train them in how to be successful in the way God would want. Perhaps it is because I am in my thirties or even because I'm not earning my living through working at the church, regardless I am amazed at how many men live for the approval and acknowledgement of their father. This drive is at the core of most men. They either receive it and know they are okay or are continually driven frantic in the pursuit of it.


That is not the same for men and boys with their mom. Mom will say "he was a nice boy" even while he sits on death row, approval is not the issue. Deep sadness and sorrow is though. Men and fathers will mask or remove themselves from the heartache, mom's will never escape it.

To me both these pictures are found in the Gospel. In Jesus we have the full acceptance of the Father. So whether your dad is dead or alive, whether you have his approval or not, you can still know that you are fully accepted by your heavenly Father. Second he finds joymor delight in you. There are no step children with God, he chose you and you a his. You can completely blow in and his heart does not lose joy for you. He is on your side and with you.

2 Treasures gained by wickedness do not profit, but righteousness delivers from death.

When I started in my first sales job there were many lessons. On important one was that the ends justified the means. When it was at the end of the month you forced through everything you could in order to get that larger check and keep your numbers up. At the end of the day everyone was looking at profit. God's accounting does not work that way. He wipes that line clean. Sadly it took years for me to see that my work and how I do it matters, not just what position I am in at the end of the quarter.

There is a death that comes along with seeking profit at all cost. We see this all the time in our economy with these business that go down this road. Most recently the real-estate collapse, where tons of folks who could affording mortagages we sold them, now many are jobless and have lost their home. There is allittle bit of death we all experience with these events. Can we create, support, and work within business models that deliver from death raher then create it. These can be profitable world changing business and ideas, I mean why wouldn't God want to make these service thrive! This is what his kingdom is about, Jesus did it through preaching and healing, and yet he said that after him we will do much greater things, what does that mean? I don't know but do not limit your I imagination when it comes to the kingdom of God.

3 The LORD does not let the righteous go hungry, but he thwarts the craving of the wicked.

These three verses have a connection to me. How righteousness effects the family, how righteousness plays out in work, and how God cares for the righteous. Though we are encouraged to not solely focus on profit, we can have peace that God is focus on our bottom line! He will not let you go hungry, so go for it. Let your hope and imagination run wild.

One of my favorite quotes is from Bill Gates who was asked how much money is enough, his response "one more dollar". You can judge for yourself whether Bill Gates is wicked, he's done more to effect the world for probably both good and bad then most people who live so I'm uncertain how to even judge. His statement though express a desire and drive that i find in my own heart. That craving that regardless of what I have a little more will satisfy. God can thwart that craving, his plan undermines these folks.

Dreams, one of my favorite recent stories is about the dream Karin, my wife, and I shared at the end of my first year of my current job. I had just gone through a major transition from full time vocational ministry into selling localization services. It had been a great year and we decided to let it ride in this direction, before that there was always a thought in the back of our minds I'd try to get a church job again. So we prayed and we dreamed. I made a list of all the clients I wanted to have within technology to sell localization to, I talked about being the top salesperson in the entire industry. Within one year every company I had named I was working with. I'm in a position that people work their entire career to secure, and God deserves all praise. Even as I share that story I am left wondering when was the last time I dreamed that way? What is the next exciting only attainable through the work of God hope that I have? The Lord does not let the righteous go hungry!

Proverbs 8:32-36

32 "And now, O sons, listen to me: blessed are those who keep my ways.
33 Hear instruction and be wise, and do not neglect it.
34 Blessed is the one who listens to me, watching daily at my gates, waiting beside my doors.
35 For whoever finds me finds life and obtains favor from the LORD,
36 but he who fails to find me injures himself; all who hate me love death."

This is the close for Lady Wisdom, probably going to be very costly right? Listen. That's all. Listen to her, wait, find her. Everyone knows this is the hardest thing to do at times. We have agendas, passions, important things that others must be made aware of or else they will never know. Wisdom requires we set that to the side and give an attentive heart or ear.

To me this is a clear connection with Proverbs and the Gospel. The Gospel is good news and calls that we also listen. 95% of what Christians believe is similar to any other moral code from the existence of civilization. Yet the 5% that is based on set aside what you are driven by and listen, wait, find Jesus is very different. In Proverbs wisdom is personified by Lady Wisdom, in the New Testament Wisdom is incarnated in Jesus, who was fully God and fully man. That which is still fuzzy in Proverbs is made clear in the person of Jesus Christ.

This instruction to listen is followed by a promise (or blessing) and a consequence (or a curse). Favor comes along with watching and finding. If you are too busy talking, not looking, distracted you injure yourself and you love death. To me this is one of those places you should not over think, the message is clear life or death.

Parenting: Trusting after you have fallen

Few things help an individual more than to place responsibility upon him, and to let him know that you trust him. --Booker T. Washington

I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. – Mother Theresa

Without being overly simple, the reason that parents must teach their children to trust is because trust has been broken and therefore they do not naturally do it. This may not be a universal fact that everyone agrees with, but I think a few examples from the moment of birth demonstrate it for me.

When a baby is born food is the issue. So if you do not feed them, they will cry to let the world around them know they are hungry. Similarly I remember seeing the video at a breast feeding class of where they place a new born, perhaps a few days old or even younger, on the mothers belly and this baby manages to move himself up the mother to her breast to feed.

There is value in both of these situations, yes being self aware and sometime self centered will save your life, so I am not making a value judgment on whether babies should act this way. Rather it seems to me for the beginning we do not look to other but work on our own to solve the issues or cause such a fuss that others have to react. We take things into our own hands. I have heard Psychologist and Social Scientist refer to it as the Reptilian part of our brain taking over, my simple understanding of this is pure instinct where reason, trust, and the view of others are set aside and we are solely motivation by self.

The place where my value judgment does come in is why this exists, the fact that we do it is neither good or bad, but the root of where it comes from in my opinion is a spiritual wound that has slice our heart and is very difficult to heal. Parents aware of this can work to engage their children to not merely live out from that wound but move to a place of trust. So where does the wound come from?

The Creation Narrative found in Genesis 1-3 is helpful for me. This primeval, pre-mortal account of the world offers insights to me though no direct answers to where the wound originated but rather shows it is at root in our existence. The case I'm making is there was need for trust (some might call it faith) from the beginning, the lack of trust exposed us to wounded hearts.

Adam and Eve are the childlike adults in this story, wandering naked through a perfect garden with little we know by way of guidance other than God telling Adam to not eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil or they will surely die, and positively telling them to be fruitful and multiply while tending the garden. Notice I said God told Adam, the first hint of a lack of trust comes when Eve repeats the command regarding the tree of life, Genesis 3:3 3 but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’” We are never told why she added "neither shall you touch it", was that her own invention or did Adam not trust her reasoning enough he felt it necessary to exaggerate the command to her. I tend to side with him exaggerating, children and husbands often will blow it with communication because they do not trust that they will be heard if they merely speak truth. To me it is this interaction that opens the door for a full blown lack of trust, providing a wide open door for wounds to guide Adam and Eve (eventually us) rather than naked child likeness.

Genesis 3:4-7, 4 But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. 5 For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” 6 So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. 7 Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths.

The child no longer needs to ask about trustworthiness the was Eve and Adam did, but rather is born into a state where the question is decided. I am born into a world naked and vulnerable and trusting I'll be taken care of is not even an option. We read in the account with Eve, she had the question running through her mind, Genesis 3:6 6 So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Seriously, something that looks so good is going being denied to me, what is up with that.

Once God was not longer trustworthy a fall was inevitable. The beauty to a fall is there are only two ways to get up, on your own or have another help. It is key in parenting that we see our role as one helping our children get up, the fall leaves wounds that heal best when we trust others who are trustworthy. Being trustworthy, evaluating others, and ultimately leading children to seek the answer to "Is God trustworthy?" is all grey and very difficult. The first step for me is recognizing the remarkable picture that we enter this world utterly helpless and yet completely distrusting that our needs will be met.

The Art of Making New Dreams

When I was a kid I regularly dreamed. So much in fact I had regular reoccurring dreams, not day dreams, but actual reoccurring dreams at night in which I was returning to the same place, even sometimes revisiting a previous dream. This is the first time I have thought about it but I don't remember many of my dreams anymore, is it something that has just faded or was it taken from me I'm not sure.

One lesson I am currently learning is the art of making new dreams. While this might sound very beautiful to me it is difficult and feels like it is splitting me at the seams. In biblical terms it might be more like dying to one self (Matthew 16:24-27). Time and again already in my life things that bring about a great deal of meaning to me have been taken from me. Is this because they had a inappropriate place in my heart? Yes. Is this because of the sin of those around me affecting my dreams? Yes. Is it because of reasons I don't have any idea about right now? Yes.

These transitions, dying, making new dreams has been hard. Not only is it about looking forward and having a plan, but it is about digging in the lowest and earliest regions of my identity. My life was one of the chosen son of blessing, a role which torments me because I know I can never meet the expectation and yet it is the standard in which I have for myself. Either I am all things or I am nothing. This is a dream that is from the depth of hell and it deserves being shattered. But if that happens, then who am I?

Even in writing this post I'm lost at how my intention was to talk of rebuilding, the art of making new dreams, and yet I'm left feeling as an orphan. Yes we know that adoption (Romans 8:15) is one of the beautiful picture of scripture, yet have you ever known a person who was adopted and had severe abandonment issues? That is where I'm at.

Struggling to hold my own self deception too heavy for me, yet temporarily I keep it up knowing that it shatters when dropped and only then I will be free to make new dreams.

Amazing quote

"Justice is what love looks like in public." - Cornel West